Teach me how to understand Christmas
Show me how to open a box
It hurts my little head
When I’m lying in my bed
With visions of sugarplum socks?

Teach me how to understand Christmas
Do I trim the tree or the deer?
I can’t keep it straight
And now it’s getting late
Where does the stocking go? Here?

What’s a Christmas Eve? Is that Santa’s lady?
Are snowmen cold or hot?
Won’t you be my daddy
I’m a silly Christmas baby
Tell me what to deck ‘cuz … hehe … I forgot

Bwian huwty undewstandy Cwistmas
Mistletoe for eatie taste good?
You smawty, me dumb
Help pwetty have fun!
Boopy doopy doop boop