ABC detective, ABC detective,
Maniacs and killers play the game.
ABC detective, ABC detective,
You are dead or alive

It's all the same, all the same,
If you're dead or alive, it's all the same.

Self-defense is the most effective
Self-protection is the way
Till the ABC detective
With his [bad word] on to play!

We are to see to give your lesson,
You will learn the ABC!
Don't forget to put you dress on -
That's for channel BBC!