All: We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy new year

Phineas: We wish you the best day ever
And hope all your Christmas endeavors
Are super-fun, amazing, and clever
And that your New Year's rocks, too

Isabella:
Both Christmas trees and menorahs
It can be confusing for us
When we break into a [bad word] Of "olé" (¡Olé!) and "oy vey" (¡Oy vey!)

Major Monogram: Good missions I'll give
To Agents through Z
Carl, get away from that punch bowl
I'm saving that for me
Carl: Sorry, sir...

All: We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
We wish you a Perry Christmas
And a (Perry chatters) new year

Baljeet: I wish for a calculator-
Slash-Hindi-English translator
To find [bad word] denominator
In both of my tongues

Buford: Good wedgies I'll give
To all of you nerds
That's how I say "Merry Christmas"
I ain't good with words

Dr. Doofenshmirtz: I wish you would let [bad word] you
In evil I'm going to school you
I won't sugarcoat or fool you
Your New Year's looks grim

I warn you, my new -inator
Will force you to serve me later
So why not just choose to cater
To my every whim?

All: We wish your every endeavor
Makes this the best Christmas ever
And we're all so glad that we will never
Mention figgy pudding...
Dr. Doofenshmirtz: Oh, great. Well now we've mentioned it.
Major Monogram: You know, no one would have noticed if you'd have just kept your mouth shut.