Mister Cellophane

Lyrics by Fred Ebb, from the musical "Chicago"

If someone stood up in a crowd
And raised his voice up way out loud
And waved his arm and shook his leg,
You'd notice him.
If someone in the movie show
Yelled "Fire in the second row!
This whole place is a powder keg!"
You'd notice him.
And even without clucking like a hen,
Everyone gets noticed now and then,
Unless, of course, that personage should be
Invisible inconsequential me.

 [bad word] 
Cellophane, Mister Cellophane
Should have been my name, Mister Cellophane,
'cause you can look right through me,

And never know I'm there.
(repeat)

Suppose you was a little cat
Residing in a person's flat,
Who fed you fish and scratched your ears,
You'd notice him.
Suppose you was a woman, wed
And sleeping in a double bed
Beside one man for seven years;
You'd notice him.
human being's made of more than air
With all that bulk you're bound to see him there,
Unless that human being next to you
Is unimpressive, undistinguished me.

 [bad word] 

 [bad word] 
Never even know I'm there.