Jon Lajoie - Birthday song

It’s your birthday today,
What does that mean I guess I’ll try to explain,
That twenty-one years ago on this day,
It was the first time your parents saw your beautiful face.

And nine months before that magical day,
Your Dad probably took your Mom on a date,
And they were having a good time,
They were dancing and drinking wine.

And when they got home they were horny as [bad word] 
And your Dad threw your Mom down on the bed,
And he tow her pennies off,
and his [bad word] was hard as a rock.

And then your Mom really wanted to give your Dad head,
But your Dad also wanted to give your Mom head,
So they formed the sixty-nine,
And your Mom came at least three times.

And then your Dad was so excited to get inside your Mom,
That he forgot to pull the condom on,
And when he realized his mistake, 
He had ejaculated and it was too late.

And then you Mom got pregnant,
And your Dad started crying,
He wanted your Mom to get an abortion,
But your Mom wanted a child.

And nine months later you were born.
And then five months later your parents got a divorce.