On a dark desert highway
Cool wind in my hair
Warm smell of colitas
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My head grew heavy and my sight grew dim
I had to stop for the night

There she stood in the doorway
I heard the mission bell
And I was thinking to myself
"This could be heaven or this could be [bad word] 
Then she lit up a candle
And she showed me the way
There were voices down the corridor
I thought I heard them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Hotel California
Any time of year
(Any time of year)
You can find it here

Her mind is Tiffany twisted
She got a Mercedes Benz
She got a lot of pretty, pretty boys
That she calls friends
How they dance in the courtyard
Sweet summer sweat
Some dance to remember
Some dance to forget

So I called up the Captain
"Please bring me my wine"
He said: "We haven't had that spirit here
Since nineteen sixty nine"
And still those voices are calling from far away
Wake you up in the middle of the night
Just to hear them say...
 [bad word] to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
(Such a lovely place)
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise
(What a nice surprise)
Bring your alibis

Mirrors on the ceiling
The pink champagne on ice
And she said: "We are all just prisoners here
Of our own device"
And in the master's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives
But they just can't kill the beast

Last thing I remember
I [bad word] for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
"Relax" said the night man
"We are programmed to receive
You can check out any time you like
But you can never leave!"