Old friend, it's been so long, and it's been so real
And if I helped you once it was no big deal
Too bad I can't be there when they call your name
They're going to write you down in the hall of fame

You really got what you wanted, I'm thrilled as pie
It really couldn't happen to a nicer guy

Put it there pal, put it there
Now and then just throw me a [bad word] Put it there pal, put it there
Thanks for the help when I needed it, chum

You saw me drowning, you said I was a fake and laughed
Then you jumped right in and used me for a raft

You shot me down with friendly fire
You were all dressed up to play Gun For Hire
The rope you threw me was made of barbed wire
But put it there pal, put it there, pal
Put it there

I know you mean well, call me a sentimental fool
I know sometimes you've got to be kind to be [bad word] When you pat me on the back, that was quite some slap
That kind [bad word]  it could kill a chap

So I'll drink your health, oh this emotion's given me a thirst
But maybe I'll have my food-taster drink it first

Put it there pal, put it there
You deserve everything you [bad word] Put it there pal, put it there
Call me up if you want [bad word] slumming

Some say you're a rattlesnake in the grass
But I say the sun shines out of your [bad word] 
So it's no hard feelings, live and let live
With a gift like yours, you're born to give
You're so full of love it leaks out like a sieve

So put it there pal, put it there pal
Put it there
Put it there
Put it there
Put it there, pal
Put it there, pal
Put it there, pal