Hey dainty girl flailing on the side of the road 
With your great thumb in the air 
I hope you don't mind me asking 
But what happened to your underwear? 

And does your humble husband know? 
Of 'ee hitchin' seedy path 
With car-operating ual deviants! 

But Julian would never understand 
And doesn't he know? 
Just because he's a painter and he loves you 
It doesn't mean that he has got a clue... 

...About my Thumbelina 
I've never seen a pair of digits quite like yours before 
And I have traveled shore to shore in such arduous pallor 
Your almost perfect body's got me quivering in a ball 

To that brash cowgirl with her hands petting your crotch 
And humping you in towering grass 
Naked and gender-bending 
What makes you think the two of you will last? 

For there's no dame or man for her 
There's just this open road where she hails down a pervert 
With the usage of her giant thumb 

Jellybean, you could [bad word] 
The intellect of her mind 
And just because you can make [bad word] with your hand 
Doesn't mean that she'll be your woman 

But 'twas a loon on the hillside 
Who planted a seed between your thumb 
You fancied him as your therapist 
But he's just a sadistic sodomist who gave you that [bad word] kid...