Good morning miss
Can i help you son?
Sixteen today
And up for fun
I'm a big boy now
Or so they say
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

Box of balloons
With the feather-light touch
Pack of party-poppers
That pop in the night
[bad word] and hairspray
Plastic grin
Miss clay on all corners
Has just walked in

 [bad word] to the house of fun
Now [bad word] of age
 [bad word] to the house of fun
 [bad word] to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
 [bad word] to the house of

N-n-n-n-n-n-no no miss
You misunderstood
Sixteen big boy
Full pint in my manhood
I'm up to date
And the date's today
So if you'll serve
I'll be on my way

 [bad word] to the house of fun
Now [bad word] of age
 [bad word] to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
 [bad word] to the house of (fun)

I'm sorry son
But we don't stock
Party gimmicks
In this shop
Try the house of fun
It's quicker if [bad word] 
This is a chemist's
Not a joke shop!

Party hats
Simple enough clear [bad word] savvy understand
Do you hear?
pack of party hats
With the coloured tips
Too late!
Gorgon heard gossip
Well hello joe, hello miss clay
Many happy returns from the day

 [bad word] to the house of fun
Now [bad word] of age
 [bad word] to the house of fun
 [bad word] to the lion's den
Temptation's on his way
 [bad word] to the house of fun

 [bad word] to the house of fun...