He was sittin’ at the bar, sippin’ on a regular Coke
We were drinkin’ and smokin’ and makin’ him the butt of our jokes
We all said, “Man, what happened to you? Why can’t you just have a few?”
He said, “I would if I could, but it’s probably best that I don’t.”
 [bad word] 
Cause the more I drink, the more I drink
Yeah, I’m the world’s greatest lover and a dancin’ machine
I get loud, I get proud....and it gets worse
Well if I have one, I’ll have thirteen
Naw, there ain’t no in-between
Cause, the more I drink, the more I drink.

couple of cold ones, and somebody hands me a shot. [bad word]  even buck-tooth and bow-legged women start lookin’ hot
And pretty soon I’m bummin’ cigarettes and sweet talkin’ some big [bad word] Yeah, once I get on a roll, ain’t no tellin’ where I’ll stop
 [bad word] 
Yep-yep
Humm, that’s what I’m talking about

Man, if I have one, I’ll have thirteen
And they can’t get me off the kareoke machine,
The more I drink...the more I drink.
Yeah, the more I drink, the more I drink, the more I drink.