I don't care if it 
Rains or freezes 
As long as I've got my 
Plastic Jesus 
Ridin' on the dashboard 
Of my car 

Through my trials 
And tribulations 
And my travels 
Through the nation 
With my plastic Jesus 
I'll go far 

Ridin' down the thoroughfare 
With a nose up in the air 
wreck may be ahead 
But he don't mind 
 [bad word]  
He don't see 
He just keeps his eye on me 
And any other thing that lies behind 
 [bad word] ] 
With my plastic Jesus 
Goodbye and I'll go far 
I said with my plastic Jesus 
Sitting on the dashboard of my car 

When I'm in a traffic jam 
He don't care if I say [bad word] 
I can let all my curses roll 

'Cos Jesus' plastic doesn't hear 
'Cos he has a plastic ear 
The man who invented plastic 
Saved my soul 
 [bad word]  

An if I weave around at night 
Policemen think I'm very tight 
They never find my bottle 
Though they ask 

'Cos plastic Jesus shelters me 
For his [bad word] off you see 
He's hollow and I use him like a flask 

Woa Woa Woa 

Save me 

I don't care if it's dark or scary 
Long as I got magnetic Mary 
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car 

I feel that I'm protected amply 
I've got the love of the whole [bad word] family 
Ridin' on the dashboard of my car 

With my plastic Jesus 
I said goodbye 
And I'll go far 

And I said with my plastic Jesus 
I said sittin' on the dashboard of my car 

[Outro:] 
When I'm goin' fornicatin' 
I've got my ceramic Satan 
Sittin' on the dashboard of my car 
Women know I'm on the level 
Thanks to the wide-eyed stoneware devil 
Sneerin' from the dashboard of my car