[bad word] listen my friends  I've a [bad word] tale to tell
Of a night at the Windsor's  when it all went to [bad word] 
The ships [bad word] in  and the tavern ran out
Of Lambeck's and lagers  and bitters and stouts.

The patron it dried   oh now what shall we drink?
So we offered them whiskey with a flirtatious wink
We offered them gin,   or at least what they'd say,
But they'd have none of that for it was cider they craved.

 [bad word] 
 Oh we'll never, no never, no never again
 If we live to be a hundred or a hundred and ten,
 Never pour Windsor's Cider on a bet or a dare
 For no matter your station your better beware.

We lasses were singing a good, bawdy tune
Suggestive enough to make younger men swoon.
And soon each one had  her bonnet unlaced
To keep up with working at a furious pace.

The bonnet was filled  with strong men of the sea
Who required more sustenance than treacle and tea.
With a months worth of wages and one night on shore
They roared for more cider  till like whores they were sore.

 [bad word] 

The juice of the apple  was never so hard
We poured it by flagon,  we poured it by yard
We filled every tankard,  then filled them again
This unceasing workload near drove us insane.

Now happy Jack Ale   has a drink of a name
And Johnny Jumpup   sent good men to the place.
For the cider we served  on that ill fatten night
Knocked the town to the ground and then set it up right.

 [bad word]