I think fur is a crime, I protest all the time
you should see all my bumper stickers
That Firestorm song sure gets me singing along
My righteousness never flickers
I think P.E.T.A. is swell and vivisectionists go to [bad word] 
I live to fight the man
And if there is ever a cause with no dietary laws
I'll be the first to take a stand

The animals, I see their pain with ease
But don't expect me to give up pizza with cheese
The animals, I see their pain with ease
But don't expect me to eat a pizza without cheese

I know I could be the best vegan the world's seen
It's such a shame my doctor says I can't because I need the protein
What's right or what's wrong is not a tough decision
But animal torture is a part of my new religion
Hey, you know that I am down with what it's about
Did I happen to mention I need the strength to work out?
Because I am building up muscle, I'm a growing boy
Such a [bad word] twist of fate, I'm allergic to soy

Excuses, excuses, are not for me!
I've wised up, but these leather shoes were free
These shoes were free