Velma:
My sister and I had an act that couldn't flop
My sister and I were headed straight for the top
My sister and I eared a thou a week at least
(Oh, sure)
But my sister is now, unfortunately, deceased

Oh, I know, it's sad, of course,
But a fact is still a fact
And now all that remains
Is the remains
Of a perfect double act!

Roxie, do you know you are exactly the same size as my sister?
Oh, you would fit in her wardrobe perfectly. Look, why don't I
just show you some of the act, huh?
Watch this.
(She dances)
Now, you have to imagine this with two people.
It's swell with two people.

First [bad word] )
Then she'd...(Saxophone!)
Then we'd...(Together!)
But I can't do it alone!
Then she'd...
Then I'd...
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone!

She'd say, "What's your sister like?"
I'd say, "MEN,"
Yuk, yuk, yuk
She'd say, "you're the cat's meow"
Then we'd wow
The crowd again
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...

And then those ding-dong daddies started to roar
Whistled, stomped, and stamped on the floor
Yelling, screaming, begging for more.

And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, keep your socks up.
You ain't seen nothing yet!"

(She dances.)
Ah, aha, yeah!
But I simply cannot do it alone.

Well? What did ya [bad word] on, you can say.
(Roxie gives her raspberry.)

Velma:
O.K. O.K. The first part can always be rewritten. But the
second part was really nifty. Watch this!

Then she'd...(See, get it, right?)
Then I'd...(Then I kick really high...)
Then we'd...
But I can't do it alone!
She'd say, "What state's Chicago in?"
I'd say, "ILL!"
Did ya get that?
She'd say, "turn your motor off!"
I can hear 'em cheerin' still
When she'd go...
I'd go...
We'd go...(Sideways!)
And then those two-bit Johnnies did it up brow
To cheer the best attraction in town
They really tore the balcony down

And we'd say, "O.K. fellas, O.K., we're goin' home, but
here's a few more partin' shots!" And this...this we did
in perfect unison.
(She dances.)
Cymbals crash crash crash
Now, you've seen me goin' through it
You can see there's nothin' to it
But I simply cannot do it
Alone!