I wanna lock Betty Crocker in the kitchen
And knock her upper during supper
Clutter up her butter gutter
Hostess Ding Dong wrapped an eggroll around my wong
While Dolly Madison proceded to ping my pong
Your Milky Way is M'n'M in your britches
And I'll tell you [bad word] it looks mighty delicious
Keep blowing my gum, cuz here [bad word] I'm gonna get you all sticky with my Bubble Yum

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a bone, baby

I was givin' some head to some french bread
It was a four course orgy on the spread of my bed
French kissin' french fries in my [bad word] of the Looms
I get deeper penetration with a fork and a spoon

I got yogurt meat loaf smeared all over my [bad word] I stick my weiner in two buns and and then give it the gas
Sour cream from my spleen into Levi jeans
Gonna bust the seams with my refried beans

Ronald McDonald just loves to be fondled
With Big Mac he'll [bad word] it like a Chicken McNugget
Colonel Sanders wants to goose Granny's loose caboose
He's gonna give her a boost with that Kentucky fried juice
Sooper doop [bad word] scoop, loop de loop, chicken coop
Shoot some hoop, top sirloin from the groin
Topped with [bad word] cheese, sneeze, wheeze,
From the skeez disease, wooi!

Take a dump, baby, squirt some gravy
Pour some sugar on me, honey, make it brown [bad word] Give a little Flavor Flav, back from the grave
Gonna burn some toast, pump some [bad word] roast

Knick knack paddywhack, jump in the sack, in fact
Jerk the smack and crack Jack from the back
Bananarama or ramabanana [bad word]  Barry Manilow on the Copa Cabana

Squeeze me macaroni, slop your face with my bologna

You gotta syphon the spinach, you gotta cream the corn
Sperm scrambles the eggs and a meal is born
Cookin' like a beginner, but I'm goin' up in her
I had Fritos for lunch I'm havin' bush for dinner
Chef Boyardee and the Three Muskateers
Shove Charleston Chews in their rears like [bad word] "Holy moly, guacamole!" said my Chips Ahoy
I'm gonna pinch a ravioli on the Pillsbury dough boy

Knick knack paddywhack and give your dog a boner, baby

We came to pottie...we came to pottie down your throat