Mommy baked an apple pie
Sayin "Hush, my baby, don't you cry now"
Eva Braun is next to you,
 [bad word] to the friggin' zoo!

I don't want your apple pie
I'll get heavy, I won't fly
If I eat too much of it
Uncle Sam will make me [bad word] 

Daddy made a mug of kvas
Kremlin angels made all that jazz
CIA & KGB
Fast food service stuffed in me.

I don't want your kvas or pie
Apple pie that mommy cooked
Honey kvas that daddy brewed
Now I know that I will puke.

I can't not dig what's that all about
Some people eat-they never doubt
Some people serve bad fish for the rest
But I know for sure they'll be under arrest.

I don't want your honey kvas
I don't want your apple pie
'Cause I know that I'll go gas
'Cause I know that I will die.