Turret: Who's there?
Turret: Is anyone there?
Turret: I see you.

Chell rises from a stasis inside of a glass box
She isn't greeted by faces,
Only concrete and clocks.

That's when she first hears [bad word] that talks.
She's told to leave the little room,
but has no shoes and no socks.
She [bad word] [bad word] 'Cause the voice sounded nice.
So she traveled through the center
And followed all its advice.
But when she starts taking blood,
She started thinking twice.
It was the first time that she used the
Hand-held Portal Device.
She puts some holes in the walls
And the ceilings then the floors.
It was a weapon to create
Inter-dimensional doors.
Still, the tests keep getting harder
and she needed a break.
That's when the voice began to barter
with the promise of cake.

GLaDOS: Uh-oh. Somebody cut the cake.
 [bad word] -------
All alone and she's wondering why.
She has a bad feeling like she's going to die.
She hides from the cameras and begins to cry.
She'll never believe the cake is a lie.

Voice: Cake is a lie.

Turret: Are you still there?

GLaDOS had a wicked habit
of enhancing the [bad word] 
Chell knew not to expect
to get to see end proof.
She had a sneaking suspicion
That the cake was a spoof.
Yet, she continued with her mission
on account of her sweet tooth.
Three tests to finish
She was nearing the end.
She [bad word] Cube
And they became the best of friends.
But as with anything good,
This thing was too good to last.
She had to burn her best friend
To be allowed to pass.
GLaDOS realized her spirit
Was far too strong to break.
She [bad word] all the tests
And never made a mistake.
Her mouth began to water,
Her hands started to shake.
She knew it couldn't be much farther,
She could almost taste the cake.
 [bad word] -------
All alone and she's wondering why.
She has a bad feeling like she's going to die.
She hides from the cameras and begins to cry.
She'll never believe the cake is a lie.

GLaDOS: Didn't we have some fun?