If you're gonna get paid
 For playing other people's music
 You'll probably wanna add some zing
 And here's one way to do it

 And I know that fancy mixing
 Doesn't always make a good DJ
 But still, my mom could put a CD in a deck
 And make it play

 "Maps of Reality"
 By Assemblage 23
 Has the same BPM
 And is in the same key

 As the track which you are hearing now
 It's Beat Match 101
 We'll synchronize
 The song's reprise
 And then we'll have some fun

 Because it's like a paint by numbers
 Except for the DJ booth
 Because a pause that lasts two seconds
 Just sounds sloppy and uncouth

 We'll make a beat match so precise
 You'll leave the dance floor [bad word]  Because our mash-up will be organized
 And not just sheer (sheer?) luck

 "Maps of Reality"
 By Assemblage 23
 Is the subject of this mix
 Because I think that song is neat

 So whoever's at the decks
 Prepare to bring the real beat back
 And cue it up to 9.7 seconds into the track

 Because it's like a paint by numbers
 Except for the disc jockey
 'Cause two shoes in a dryer
 [bad word] off my Tamagotchi

 But train wrecks can be avoided
 And we're here to show you how
 So miss or mister DJ,
 Drop the beat...*NOW*

 Main synth in 5 4 3 2
 And cue Tom's vocals
 We'll end this [bad word] when we reach the [bad word]