One beer then I’m gone
The ugliest women that I’ve laid eyes on 
got together and decided [bad word] here
They’re not pretty 
They’re not small
I don’t give a [bad word] at all
Tonight I’m only having just one beer

Yeah tonight I’m only having just two beers
I don’t mind the atmosphere in here
It feels so right, it must be wrong
I know I can’t stay too long
Tonight I’m only having just two beers

Three beers but no more
There’s no way I’m drinking four
My attitude’s improving with the beer
I was mad but now I’m glad
The women in here, they ain’t so bad
Tonight I’m only having just three beers

Yeah tonight I’m only having just six beers
I kinda like the atmosphere in here
It feels so right, it must be wrong
I know I can’t stay too long
Tonight I’m only having just six beers

Twelve beers then I quit
Oh good Lord I’m [bad word] as [bad word] 
I just spent my whole paycheck in here
I took a chance 
I tried to dance
I threw up and [bad word] my pants
All off one beer

Yeah tonight I’m only having just one beer
At least that’s what I said when I got here
It felt so right, but it was wrong
I know that I’ve stayed too long
I think I musta drank hundred beers
Well now I wished I had only one beer

God I wish I never came in here