Do you think you can fool me?
Do you think you can lie to my face?
Do you think I believe you?
Well, what you tell me is a total waste

Do you think you can use me?
I bet you think that you are great
Do you think you can get away with murder?
I think you can use a kick in the face

Eh - you can fool some of the people some of the time
And you can fool most of the people all of the time
Ah - you can fool a few of the people none of the time
But you can’t fool me any of the time

So I sit and I eat a TV dinner
I watch an old funny Marx Brothers movie
And a [bad word] across my TV screen
And it’s you in all of your glory

You like to tell me about [bad word] murders
You make me choke on my pasgetti
Korean airlines that was shot down by [bad word] 
You even show the dead peoples’ families crying

Well, you can gross out some of the people some of the time
Eh - you can gross out most of the people none of the time
Most of the people like to get grossed out all of the time
Ain’t that right
But you make me sick every time, every time

I see your face is laced with a new kind of taste
It’s great the way you waste all that space
You’re right, it’s night and I shouldn’t go outside
But if a stiletto stabs me
It’ll make your job so exciting
If a razor cut me
You can give them something worth watching

We [bad word] this song to bring you a special news bulletin. Hello, this is Wilma Wasko, anchorwoman at the Eyewitness News Center in New York. Hey - do I have your attention? Look at me, me, me (etc.) I’m on TV. Check this out, ladies and gents. This is good stuff, real good stuff, real good-good-good-good-good-good great stuff.

The two bodies of Trisha and Connie... (uh, what was their last name?) (That doesn’t matter, anyway). The bodies of two young school children were discovered today buried in the Carle [bad word] Grade School playground at ten o’clock this morning. Despite the semi-decayed carcasses of the young school girls (who were found to be 10 and 11 years old), the autopsy report shows that the girls were [bad word] raped, strangled, beaten and stabbed excessively. Young Trisha was reported to have at least 27 stab wounds in the chest and stomach area, with severe stabbings in the neck, head and eyes. Young Connie was found to have a severed left leg and heart displacement. And it is this doctor’s opinion that anal  was performed on the dead bodies after the [bad word]  slaughterous act was done. Details at 10.

The junk that you feed to my children
Is junk that you believe in
I don’t care about crooked politicians
I don’t wanna see someone bleeding while I’m eating

And when you review a motion picture
You like to kill the actors and writers
You do this to feed your own ego
So your own life won’t seem so [bad word] miserable

Well, you could [bad word] some of the people some of the time
And you do [bad word] most of the people all-a-da’ time
Ah - you could [bad word] a few-a-da’ people a couple of times
But you can’t [bad word] me any of the time, any of the time...