"Oh, Mrs. McGrath," the sergeant said
"Would you like to make a soldier out of your son Ted
With a scarlett coat, a big [bad word] hat
Mrs. McGrath, wouldn't you like that?"

Now, Mrs. McGrath lived on the sea shore
For the space of seven years or more
Till she saw abig ship sailing in the bay
"Here’s my son Ted, will you clear the way!"

"Oh captain dear, where have you been
Have you been to the Mediterranean
Will you tell me nth news of my son Ted
Is the poor boy living or is he dead?"

Up came Ted without any legs
And in their place, two wooden pegs
She kissed him a dozen times or two
And said "My god, Ted is it you ?"

"Now were you [bad word] or were you blind
When you left your two fine legs behind
Or was it while walking upon the sea
Wore your two fine legs from the knees away?"

"No, I wasn't [bad word] and I wasn't blind
When I left my two fine legs behind
But a cannon ball on the fifth of May,
Tore my two fine legs and my knees away"

"My Teddyboy," the widow cried
"Your two fine legs were your mother’s pride
That stumps of a tree wouldn’t do at all
Why didn't [bad word] from the cannon ball?"

"All foreign wars I do proclaim
Between Don John and the King of Spain,
I’d rather have my son as he used to be
Than the King of France and his whole navy"