You shot and i didnt die?

In your absence, what fires I burnt with your yearning, though 
I couldn’t burn you, as you burnt me 
Like water in desert, days in prison, bread in fasting, I waited for you 
But you only put fears between us 
You put bans 
Don’t ever ask me where I am now... 
You called me and didn’t [bad word]  

Don’t used to offend to springs with no flowers, while you were here 
To the rainy skies...these melancholic evenings 
While you were here 
Don’t used to look and sigh to train stations 
To bus stops… 
While you were here I don’t used to cry to ones get seperated 
Don’t used to get down after finished loves 
Don’t used to offend to the going ones 
Don’t used to feel pitty for the staying ones 
Don’t used to feel cold like that and shiver, while you were here 
Was innocent, like children 
Don’t used to get mad like that - dont used to swear 
At last I dont used to think of dying 
Now I am asking you 
If it is [bad word] the name of this love 
You burnt me and didn’t I burn? 

You know 
To all your pains, I turned on 'green light', we couldn’t make it 
For all your fears, I was 'back', we couldn’t make it 
To the mountains, I put stairs, we couldn’t make it 
I was a snow in June, snowed in your palms, we couldn’t make it 
I loved, we couldn’t - I burnt, we couldn’t - I adored, we couldn’t 
Well then, I give up 
Cut the ticket of this love however you want 
Somehow you are going 
I know, go... 
Though after you 
couple of crying eyes 
heard ripped to shreds  [bad word] mountain, if you don’t want to see 
Hold your weapon - push to my back 
I am a coward if I shiver... 
You shot me and I didn’t die?