I grew up blind just like everyone's child, 
in the warmth of milk and deceit, 
smothered by love and the chemical dust there was never enough to believe. 
They chewed me up, they spat me out 
of their system and onto their street,
and the rest of my life was a spring to forget all the greatness that could never be. 

Oh beautiful town, 
I remember you blacker than night. 
The whores and the sick mouth, the bad taste, and the neon lives. 
Oh beautiful town, 
where are you now with your binge insecurities? 
I'll shut you down, beautiful town, 
as you tear your children 
into pieces

Absence twisted with fondness 
is the horror I couldn't forget, 
programmed in the great art 
of family lives and debts. 
Too much expectation 
followed by hope and then a hate in the mess, 
and the rest of my life
was a glorious test 
of my will and my selfish neglect.

Oh beautiful town, 
I remember you blacker than night.
The whores and the sick mouth, 
the bad taste, and the neon lives.
Oh beautiful town, 
where are you now with your binge insecurities? 
I'll shut you down, beautiful town, 
as you tear your children 
into pieces

On floorboards 
under insolent feet, 
another hopscotch to my parents' retreat, with lavender bag in my hand 
and words of desperation on my tongue: 
"Goodnight father," 
"Goodnight mother," 
"Are you still awake?"