I gotta' gal wears her toenails long
Drives a red barracuda, singin' meat packer songs 
And she ain't from Kalamazoo

I gotta' friend lived in a mercedes-benz
Then a 55 chrysler where the [bad word] never ends
And the plates say Kalamazoo

He had a steady job and watched what he spent
He'd say I don't believe in payin' no [bad word] rent
I'll squirrel away every [bad word] cent 
And buy my own [bad word] house in kalamazoo 

I knew a guy that mangled his hand
And he went from pipe [bad word] #39; to a hot dog stand
They say last year he cleared fifty grand 
Selling dogs round Kalamazoo

She turned to the world with a [bad word] child 
Said, "i just can't handle him he's too [bad word] wild" 
But the years and the liquor have made him mild
And he lays around in Kalamazoo