Intro (Samberg):
It seems like these days the whole world's on fire.
Things keep blowin' the [bad word] up,...
And while all [bad word] and looky loos stand slackjawed starin,
The real men have the nuts to walk away.

Song:
Cool guys don't look at explosions
They blow things up and then walk away
Who's got time to watch an explosion?
Because cool guys have errands that they have to walk to..
Keep walkin', keep shinin'
Don't look back keep on walkin'
Keep [bad word]  slow motion
The more you ignore it, the cooler you look

Samberg: Ladies & gentlemen, please join me in [bad word] .
Mr. Neil Diamond!

Will Ferrell: ha ha ha....Where are we?!

Cool guys don't look at explosions
They stride for it in their diamond covered boots
They wear jumpsuits with glitter and rhinestones
And walk away in slow motion..
Keep walkin, you're [bad word] .
Cherry Cherry...Sweet Caroline..
Denzel walks...
Will Smith walks...
Mark Wahlberg is wearin a hat!

Samberg: Keybord solo....JJ Abrams!

JJ Abrams solo
Yeah!
Okay.

Because,
Cool guys don't look at explosions,
Walk fast from the roaring explosion,
And don't think about the people you killed

2...3...4!
x2AAAHHHHHHHHHHH
JJ Abrams outro