Peter:
On Monday I had drinks with [bad word] We hit a couple divy little bars
We noticed there was quite a lovely lady
Sitting at the table next to ours
Now Barney, who was pretty friggin' wasted
Got up and stumbled over with a groan
He said: "Hey, just between us, my neanderthalic [bad word] is as massive as a [bad word] bone! 

All Cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] 
Meg:  Did Barney really say that? 
Peter:  Oh, yeah! He is a [bad word]  
Lois:  Wow! 
Peter:  An-And he really does not give a [bad word] about the feelings of women!
Ah, aah.. it's Sad! It's really sad... 
Brian:  Well you think that's bad, listen to this  

One day I met an ape of great charisma
Magilla the Gorilla was his name
He wore a little hat and matching bowtie
fashion witch has brought him great acclaim
I said: "What do you see as your career-peak?
Of all your many flashy escapades. 
He said: "Well this is funky,
but you're looking at the monkey who s responsible for bringing you the AIDS.  

All Cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] 
Peter:  So he s the cold prick? 
Stewie:  I say that is just awful! 
Lois:  Okay, okay! Listen to this little gin  

I had a conversation at a party
With famous Rabbit Hunter Elmer Fudd
He told me I just had to see his rifle
And dropped it at the table with a thud
I said to him:  It s quite a lovely firearm. 
He told me his fianc? likes it to
He said:  This maybe corny but it really gets me horny when
I press it to her temple while we [bad word]  

All Cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] 
Peter:  Aw, God! That is one sick [bad word]  
Stewie:  Euw, you re not kidding? 
Brian:  Yeah, that  eeh  that stuff s kinda  against the law to, I think. 
Chris:  Well, I got one that s even worse than that  

On Friday-night I went to get some candy
Some soda and some chips and other stuff
Along the way I passed a little alley
And there I saw that K-9 called [bad word] I said to him:  Hey! You re that famous crime dog! 
He said:
 I only work from nine to five! And now it s close  ten-ish  and I
got a job to finish  cause as you can see this hooker s still alive! 

All Cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] 
Meg:  That s awful! 
Stewie:  Uh! Imagine [bad word] beating up hookers! 
Peter:  He is a [bad word]  He is a [bad word]  
Stewie:  Yes, yes! He s a nasty Cartoon, but I can top that  Listen to this! 

One day as I was strolling through the forest
I happened on some mushroom covered turf
And there from underneath a patro-fungus
Emerged the one and only Papa Smurf
He said:  This is our secret mushroom village! 
I said:  Then I m the first to see these views? 
He said:  I m only kidding,  cause we only keep it hidden from the Asians,
Adams, [bad word]  Blacks and Jews! 

All Cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] They get their kicks from being pricks
It's a quirk, we just can't fix
'Cause all cartoons are [bad word]  [bad word] 
Lois:  That Papa Smurf sounds like a monster! 
Stewie:  Oh, he s a dirty, nasty racist and a bigot and homophobe,
and do you know what I did when I got home? 
Brian:  What? 
Stewie:  I called up Gargamel and I told him where the village is! 

[LAUGHTER]

Peter:  That s sweeeeet  
Meg:  Can I go next? 
Lois:  Of course, sweetie! 
Meg: