Nineteen seventy one
We all heard the starters gun
New York is such a pity
But at Max's Kansas City we won

We all shot the [bad word] at the bar
With Johnny O'Toole and his scar
And then old Clive Davis said
He's surely gonna make us a star
I'm gonna make you a star
Just the way you are

But with all his style
I could see in his eyes
That we is goin' to trial

It was No Surprise

The boys kept kickin' [bad word] 
As usual time would tell
But some [bad word] in the choir
Threw water on the fires of [bad word] 
She loved to show and tell
Lord she loved to tell

But with all our style
You could see in our eyes
That we is still on trial

And it was No Surprize
No Surprize
No Surprize
No Surprize

Midnight lady
Situation fetal
Vaccinate your [bad word] 
With a phonograph needle

I say
Look it here
Friend of mine
Scratch like you need calomine
Flamingo boots
Sole's a creakin'
Still in love and Puerto Rican too

Ridin' on the wheels of [bad word] 
Smokin' in our axle grease
Oh the backstage is rockin'
And we're coppin' from the local police
That's right the local police
Or the justice of peace

But with all our style
You could see in our eyes
That we is still on trial

Baby it's No Surprise
No Surprise
No Surprise
No Surprise

Rock and roll
Junkie [bad word] 
Got my foot inside the door
Knock, knock, knock, knock, knock
Nobody's keepin' score

Bad times
Go away [bad word] again some other day
Topaz and sazzafrazz
Will keep the blues away

Candy store
Rock and roll
Corporation jellyroll
Play the singles it ain't me
It's programmed insanity

You ascap
If BMI
Could ever make a mountain fly
If Japanese can boil teas
Then where the [bad word] #39;s my royalties