I spent the day helping my friend, Babbit, on his farm. When I got home, my wife said, “You stink!” I headed straight for the shower. 

I ran the water, closed the shower curtain, and adjusted the showerhead. I worked the soap into a lather and [bad word] from head to toe. I rinsed off the soap and toweled off. 

When I went back into the living room, my wife said, “You still stink! You need to soak in a bath!” 

I went back into the bathroom, put the stopper in the bathtub, and turned on the faucet. I didn’t want to take any chances. I took some of my wife’s bubble bath and poured it into the bathtub. When the bath was ready, I got in. I soaked for a half hour and I washed every nook and cranny. 

When I went back into the living room, my wife said, “Wow, you smell as pretty as a flower!” That wasn’t exactly what I was going for, but I’d rather smell like flowers than pigs!