At home, at work, at play 
I know you're unavailable from dusk to dawn 
Or if you were available you'd bring along 
lot of what could only be a hindrance to me 
I ain't a glutton for a lot of [bad word] 
You gotta catch her while she's still at home 
You gotta catch her while she's still at work 
You gotta catch her while she's still at play 
The only way is at home, work, or play

Time really flies when it ain't that much time 
You better shave half your face at a time 
And [bad word] the front of your teeth, leave the rest 
And be with her when she's not with the rest 
Stop, there's gotta be a million girls like her, though 
I can't think of one 
So you catch her while she's still at home 
And you catch her while she's still at work 
And you catch her while she's still at play

Don't let her calendar be any cause to pout 
There is a bit of time when there are few about 
I'm gonna skirt the issue of her popularity 
And just avail myself of all the time that she is free 
You gotta catch her while she's still at home 
You gotta catch her while she's still at work 
You gotta catch her while she's still at play 
Cause half the day she's at home, work or play

And time is fleeing the scene of the crime 
The act of passing out wrinkles and lines 
To every person regardless of race 
To every person regardless of face 
Stop, there's gotta be a million girls like her though 
I can't think of one 
So at home she says you butler well 
And at work she says you're typing well 
And at play she says you caddie well

Stop, There's gotta be a million girls like her though 
I can't think of one 
So you catch her while she's still at home 
And you catch her while she's still at work 
And you catch her while she's still at play

I'm gonna love you under incandescent light 
I'm gonna love you under fluorescent light 
The glaring sun above should not inhibit us at all 
I'm very glad to know that your libido never palls

Stop, she's unique, especially at home 
Where you're butler, maid, and often cook 
And at work together juggling books 
Or at play between the tennis sets 
Or at play before she's placed her bet 
Or at play while she's still slightly wet 
Or at play while she is dripping wet