There's a magical land I know,
place where I grew up.
And I'd make a deal with the devil himself,
to see that place blown up.
There in that interesting land I know
where no one has a brain,
they all wear jeans that are acid-washed
yet they think I'm insane

I would get down on my knees
and service the Japanese
'til I reek of old sushi but please
bomb New Jersey!

I would happily kowtow
to my new leader, Chairman Mao.
I would even learn Chinese
Just please, bomb New Jersey!

Bomb New Jersey!
Bomb New Jersey!

I would go tell Jong Il Kim
that they're making fun of him
in a Kimchi-hating town that's known
as New Jersey
Better yet I've got a plan
I will convince Pakistan
that India can be found somewhere
in New Jersey

New Jersey is a place where I grew up
They pelted me with rocks and garbage
I guess its tough to be a [bad word] in the Garden State
And if you have a y girlfriend
then they're doubly irate!

Oh I would climb a rocky crag
and plant [bad word] flag
on a smoldering hole once known
as New Jersey
Oh it would be a tragic loss
If both Bon Jovi and the Boss
are somewhere out of state
when the danes nuke New Jersey

It's a place named after a sweatshirt,
So what more can you expect, sir?
And if you try to express you're individuality
they will throw you to the ground
And they'll kick you in the teeth
Like they did to me

The bombs go down on Morristown
and Trenton's up in flames
Newark we drowned then burned it down
But Elizabeth still smells the same
Many butts will breach on Monmouth Beach
We'll erase Orange from site
But before we leave this land I loathe,
I bid New Jersey "Good-night!"