MRS. LOVETT
That's all very well, but what we gonna do about him?
SWEENEY TODD
Later on when it's dark, we'll take it to some secret place and bury him
LOVETT
Oh yeah. Of course we could do that. I don't spose he's got any relatives [bad word] pokin' round lookin for him... Seems a downright shame...

TODD
Shame?

LOVETT
Seems an awful waste...
Such a nice, plump frame
Wot's 'is name has...
Had...
Has
Nor it can't be traced...
Bus'ness needs a lift,
Debts to be erased...
Think of it as thrift,
As a gift,
If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste...
I mean, with the price of meat
What it is,
When you get it,
If you get it...

TODD
AH!

LOVETT
Good, you got it!

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Bus'ness never better using only pussycats and toast!
Now a [bad word] s good for maybe six or seven at the most!
And I'm sure they [bad word] as far as taste!

[Simultaneously]

TODD
Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion

LOVETT
Well, it does seem a waste...

TODD
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always!

LOVETT (wrong)
It's an idea...
Think about it... (right)

TODD
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived
Without you all these years, I'll never know!
How delectable!
Also undetectable!

LOVETT
Lots of other gentlemen'll
Soon [bad word]  for a shave,
Won't they?
Think of
All them
Pies!

TODD
How choice!
How
Rare!
For what's the sound of the world out there?

LOVETT
What, Mr. Todd?
What, Mr. Todd?
What is that sound?

TODD
Those [bad word] noises pervading the air!

LOVETT
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, Mr. Todd!
Yes, all around!

TODD
It's man devouring man, my dear!

BOTH:
And/Then who are we to deny it in here?

TODD
(spoken) These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett, and desperate measures are called for!

LOVETT
Here we are, now! Hot out of the oven!

TODD
What is that?

LOVETT:
It's priest. Have a little priest.

TODD
Is it really good?

LOVETT
Sir, it's too good, at least!
Then again, they [bad word] sins of the flesh,
So it's pretty fresh.

TODD
Awful lot of fat.

LOVETT
Only where it sat.

TODD
Haven't you got poet, or something like that?

LOVETT
No, y'see, the trouble with poet is
'Ow do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest!

Lawyer's rather nice.

TODD
If it's for a price.

LOVETT
Order something else, though, to follow,
Since no one should swallow it twice!

TODD
Anything that's lean?

LOVETT
Well, then, if you're British and loyal,
You might enjoy Royal Marine!
Anyway, it's clean.
Though of course, it tastes of wherever it's been!

TODD
Is that squire,

LOVETT
Mercy no, sir, look closer,
You'll notice it's grocer!

TODD
Looks thicker,
More like vicar!

LOVETT
No, it has to be grocer --
It's green!

TODD
The history of the world, my love --

LOVETT
Save a lot of graves,
Do a lot of relatives favors!

TODD
Is those below serving those up above!

LOVETT
Ev'rybody shaves,
So there should be plenty of flavors!

TODD
How gratifying for once to know

BOTH
That those above will serve those down below!

TODD
What is that?

LOVETT
It's fop.
Finest in the shop.
And we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top!
And I've just begun --
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily,
Have one!
TODD:
Put it on a bun.