What would Brian Boitano do 
If he was here right now, 
He'd make a plan 
And he'd follow through, 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do. 

When Brian Boitano was in the olympics, 
Skating for the gold, 
He did two Salchows and a triple lutz, 
While wearing a blind fold. 

When Brian Boitano was in the alps, 
Fighting grizzly bears, 
He used his magical fire breath, 
And saved the maidens fair. 

So what would Brian Boitano do 
If he were here today, 
I'm sure he'd kick an [bad word] or two, 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do. 

I want this V-chip out of me, 
It has dented my vo-ca-bu-lar-y. 

And I just want my mom 
To stop fighting everyone 

For Wendy I'll be an activist too, 
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do. 

And what would Brian Boitano do, 
He'd call all the kids in town, 
And tell them to unite for [bad word] 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do. 

When Brian Boitano travelled through time 
To the year 3010, 
He fought the evil robot kings 
and saved the human race again 

And when Brian Boitano built the pyramids, 
He beat up Kublai Kahn. 

Cause Brian Boitano doesn't take [bad word] from an-y-body 

So let's all get together, 
And unite to stop our mom's 
And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, 
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd do. 

And we'll save Terrance and Phillip too, 
Cause that's what Brian Boitano'd dooooo, 
That's what Brian Boitano'd do