I'm in a personal [bad word] I kind of hate Michael Phelps
I wish he'd drown in a well
That dude is in my way

When I first saw that guy swim
He got nothing but wins
I could've sworn he had fins
But now he's in my way

More gold than Mark Spitz
Strange pecs, taking bong hits
Stay smooth, shave your armpits
Where you think you're swimming, Mikey?

Hey, I'm not Michael, don't eat at Subway
But this is my year, so call me Lochte
Its hard to swim right, by Phelps baby
But this is my year, so call me Lochte

Now I'm the king of the pool
I made you look like a tool
Bob Costas thinks that I'm cool
I pushed you out of my way

You were my idol
Now you're just a rival
Don't get suicidal
Where you think you're swimming, Mikey?

Hey, I'm not Michael, don't eat at Subway
But this is my year, so call me Lochte
Its hard to swim right, by Phelps baby
But this is my year, so call me Lochte