On a dark desert highway 
Cool wind in my hair 
Warm smell of colitas 
Rising up through the air 
Up ahead in the distance 
I saw the shimmering light 
My head grew heavy 
And my sight grew dim 
I had to stop for the night 

There she stood in the doorway 
I heard the mission bell 
And I was thinking to myself: 
This could be Heaven or 
This could be [bad word] 
Then she lit up a candle 
And she showed me the way 
There were voices down the corridor 
Thought I heard them say 
 [bad word] to the Hotel California 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely face 
There's plenty of rooms in the Hotel 
California 
Any time of year 
(Any time of year) 
You can find them here 

Her mind is Tiffany-twisted 
She's got the Mercedes Benz 
She's got a lot of pretty, pretty boys 
That she calls friends 
How they dance in the courtyard 
Sweet summer sweat 
Some dance to remember 
Some dance to forget 

So I called up the captain 
"Please, bring me my wine" 
He said, "We haven't had that spirit here 
since 1969". 
And still those voices 
Are calling from far away 
Wake you up in the middle of the night 
Just to hear them say 
 [bad word] to the Hotel California 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely place 
Such a lovely face 
They're livin' it up 
At the Hotel California 
What a nice surprise 
(What a nice surprise) 
Bring your alibis 

Mirrors on the ceiling 
The pink champagne on ice 
And she said "We are all just prisoners here 
Of our own device". 
And in the master's chambers 
They gathered for the feast 
They stab it with their steely knives 
But they just can't kill the beast 

Last thing I remember 
I [bad word] for the door 
And I had to find the passage back 
To the place I was before 
"Relax," said the night man 
"We are programmed to receive 
You can checkout any time you like 
But you can never leave!"