The beer I had for breakfast was a bottle of Mad Dog

And my 20/20 vision was fifty percent off

You said punch-buggy red and punched me right in my left eye

I said don't you mean pediddle? and I lit his house on fire

He came home on acid I was holding his shotgun

I was dressed like Tina Turner in beyond thunder dome

He said don't shoot, I said I won't I love you you're my friend

I handed him my wig and shot myself in the head

Then I stuffed a box of tissues in the hole in my skull

I got in my Mazda and I drove to the mall

I got a big Johnson shirt and some silicone [bad word] 
When I pulled out the tissues they were covered with [bad word] 
And the beer I had for breakfast was a box of cheap white wine

And the boom box on my shoulder was a box of clementines

I ate every single one without noticing the mold

You said you're gross my darling, I said no I'm rock and roll

Even though I'd never ever been in a band

I got cool as black ice tattooed on my hand

And the christians gave [bad word] books as if I would be scared

Of burning in [bad word] well I was already there

And the beer I had for breakfast silver bullet in the brain

And the beer I had for lunch was a bottle of night train

And the beer I had for dinner was my crazy neighbor's pills

We had to sit down on skateboards jut to make it down the hill

Then I peed my pants and you stole the groom's cigar

And some old man made me watch him [bad word] locked in his car

When I got back to the apartment you were face down on the floor

You said don't go to bed yet let's go get a 64

And the beer I had had for breakfast was a pint of Jim Beam

And a fifth of peach schnapps and some warm Sunny 
And you said bottoms up just as I bottomed out

I tried to scream [bad word] you but blood was pouring out my mouth

Evan Dando never planned on telling you the [bad word] 
And your Leonardo ID card is your fountain of youth

You can be a teenager for your whole [bad word] life

Just find some pretty sucker and make that [bad word] your wife

I guess by now you all know my friend Danny broke his neck

He was driving home from Sirens when he got into a wreck

First I cried for him and then I cried for me

Haunted by the ghost of the girl I used to be

But the rocks with holes are warm in my hands

And I buried my toes in the hot hot sand

And the silver pink pony kisses me and says
 [bad word] a long, long way and you deserve to be really happy