Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
You always know what the story is 
Beautiful girls with ugly guys 
What do they take us for anyway? 
Ugly guys, with beautiful girls 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
As they walk down the street arm in arm 
I see them 
And once again feel the need to ask myself the question 
The question that has weighed heavily on me of late 
How is it possible that a guy and a girl 
So dissimilar in physical appearance, 
There being such a disparity in how attractive each is, 
Be nonetheless in what would appear to be a relationship? 

It ain't done with smoke and mirrors 
It ain't done with smoke and mirrors 
It ain't done with smoke and mirrors 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 

How do we explain this? 
An attraction of opposites? 
No, that theory has been refuted 
By many experts in the fields of human psychology 
much greater attraction seems [bad word] 
from one more similar to oneself 
Personality perhaps? 
Without intending to sound judgmental 
That he doesn't look like 
What was once called "live wire" or "the life of the party"
He appears rather expressionless. 
His movements are stiff and even awkward 
Perhaps he's a person of some intellect 
An expert in science 
The arts, political theory? 
No, I think not. 
See how well tailored his clothes are 
How well cut his hair is

It ain't done with smoke and mirrors
It ain't done with smoke and mirrors
It ain't done with smoke and mirrors
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 

I must confess to you, my listeners 
That I have been a little less than honest
In pretending I had no answers to my previous questions
You see, I lost someone very dear to me
Someone very beautiful
To someone much like him
Ah, you ask, surely there must have been other areas
Where you were deficient and he was not
No, I don't believe so
My [bad word] were of an economic nature
He was rich, I was not
You see, I underestimated the appeal to her of things
Imported things on wheels
Large things with manicured lawns and
Olympic swimming pools
Things to wear around her neck that would 
Glisten in the night light
Things! 

Still I am not bitter
Rather, I am an observer 
Who saw first hand how life may not be fair
Would things have turned out differently 
Between me and her 
Had I moved the corporate ladder quicker
Been born of more noble stock
Or done better on one of our journeys to Las Vegas? 

Perhaps. 
In fact, I am certain of it. 
Things would have turned out differently 
Between me and her
I know this now

It ain't done with smoke and mirrors 
Ugly guys with beautiful girls 
You always know what the story is