Cell block tango
Liz: Pop 
Annie: Six 
June: Squish 
Hunyak: Uh uh 
Velma: Cicero 
Mona: Lipschitz! 

Voiceover: 
And now, the six merry murderesses of Cook County Jail in their rendition of the Cell Block Tango 

Liz: Pop 
Annie: Six 
June: Squish 
Hunyak: Uh uh 
Velma: Cicero 
Mona: Lipschitz! X5 

All: 
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He only had himself to blame 
If you'd have been there 
If you'd have seen it 
I bet you would have done the same! 

Liz: Pop 
Annie: Six 
June: Squish 
Hunyak: Uh uh 
Velma: Cicero 
Mona: Lipschitz! X2 

Liz: 
You know how people have these little habits that get you down. Like Bernie. Bernie, he liked to chew gum. No, not chew. Pop. So, I came home this one day and I’m really irritated, and I’m looking for a little bit of sympathy and there's Bernie lyin' on the couch, drinkin' a beer and chewin'. No, not chewin'. Poppin'! So, I said to him, I said, Bernie, you pop that gum one more time... And he did. So I took the shotgun off the wall and I fired two warning shots... into his head. 

All: 
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He only had himself to blame 
If you'd have been there 
If you'd have heard it 
I betcha you would 
Have done the same! 

Annie: 
I met Ezekiel Young from Salt Lake City about two years ago. And he told me he was single. And we hit it off right away. So, we started living together. He'd go to work, [bad word] home, fixing a drink, we had dinner and then I found out. Single he told me? Single, my [bad word]  
Not only was he married... oh, no, he had six wives. One of those mormons, do you know? So that night, 
when he came home from work, I fixed in his drink. As usual. You know, some guys just can't hold their [bad word]  

All: 
He had [bad word] 
He had [bad word] 
He took a flower in it’s prime 
And then he used it 
And he abused it 
It was a murder 
But not a crime! 

June: 
Now, I'm standing in the kitchen carvin' up the chicken for dinner, minding my own business, 
and in storms my husband Wilbur, in a jealous rage. You been screwin' the milkman, he says. He was crazy and he kept screamin' you been screwin’ the milkman. And then he ran into my knife. 
He ran into my knife ten times! 

All: 
If you'd have been there 
If you'd have seen it 
I betcha you would have done the same! 

Hunyak: (Speaking slavonic language) 

Roxie: Yeah, but did you do it? 

Hunyak: Uh uh, not guilty! 

Velma: 
My sister, Veronica and I did this double act and my husband, Charlie, used to travel round with us. Now, for the last number in our act, we did these 20 acrobatic tricks on a row. One, two, three four, five...splits, spread eagles, back flips, flip flops, one right after the other. So, this one night before the show we’re down at the hotel Cicero. The three of us, boozin’ havin' a few laughs and we ran out of ice. So I go out to get some. [bad word] back, open the door and there's Veronica and Charlie doing number seventeen – the spread eagle. Well, I was in such a state of shock…  [bad word] blacked out. I can't remember a thing! It wasn't until later, when I was washing the blood off my hands… I’d even knew, they were dead! 

They had [bad word] 
They had [bad word] 
They had [bad word] all along 
I didn't do it 
But if I'd done it 
I bet you’d tell me that I was wrong 

They had [bad word] 
They had [bad word] 
They had [bad word] all along 
I didn't do it 
But if I'd done it 
I bet you’d tell me 
That I was wrong? 

Mona: 
I loved Alvin Lipschitz more than I can possibly say. He was a real artistic guy... Sensitive... a painter. But he was always trying to find himself. He'd go out every night looking for himself and on the way… He [bad word]  Glady