Pain inside me is taking over again

Wide awake I open my eyes into a nightmare of a life that I despise I gotta,
break it down to the bare essentials 'cause life's too short to be sentimental.
Twisting around inside my head so many crazy visions - am I better off dead?
Filled with dread - gun under the bed to clip all the [bad word] trying to keep me down,
I ain't [bad word]  around.

Wide awake my eyes are open I- can't breathe my heart is choking and I can't speak the words unspoken and I can't believe my life is broken againеЋ–(my life is broken)

Keep trying to tell myself "everything will be OK, everything will go my way" 'till life steps in and slaps on the strangle,
tears flow and fists start to mangle.
I wake up screaming everyday,
nobody pays attention when I'm writhing in pain,
I got a glitch in my brain I gotta- break free from anxiety,
I gotta let go of life 'cause it's killing me
 [bad word] 
Wide awake my eyes are open I- can't breathe my heart is choking and I can't speak the words unspoken and I can't believe my life is broken againеЋ–
My eyes are open, my heart is choking, on words unspoken, my life is broken again

I can't believe my life is broken apart again,
I can't conceive my time was never well spent,
sick of everybody talking about the things they never do, [bad word] talking [bad word] about who?
YOU!!

Pain inside me is taking over again
 [bad word] 
How many times can you ask for a chance and expect everybody to keep giving it, forgiving it?
Realize this is the last time to waste away, deteriorate, [bad word]  and decline?