It's one thing to know it but another to admit
 We're the worst band in the world
 But we don't give a.... 

 If Garbo played guitar with Valentino on the [bad word]  Then we'd be nothing more than a bunch of darma bums
 So tune up, tune up 

 Well we've never done a days work in our life
 And our records sell in zillions
 It irrigates my heart with greed
 To know that you adore me
 Up yours, up mine
 But up everybody's that takes time -
 But we're working on it
 Working on it (Ooh) 

 We never seen the van - leave it to the roadies -
 Never met the roadies - leave them in the van
 All because of circumstances way beyond control
 We became the darlings of this thing called rock and roll, ooh 

 Here I am a record on a jukebox
 little piece of plastic with a hole, ooh
 Play me
 Buy me and you play me then my plastic turns to gold 

 Here we are together on your hi-fi
 little piece of plastic with a hole, oh
 Fade me, fade me, fade me, fade me.....