Sally called, when she got the word
She said, "I suppose you've heard about Alice"
So [bad word] to the window and I looked outside
And I could hardly believe my eyes
big limousine pulled slowly into Alice's drive

Refrain:
I don't know why she's leaving or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice 
(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)
Twenty four years just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I'm feeling maybe get a second glance
Now I've gotta get used to not living next door to Alice 
(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)

We grew up together, two kids in the park
Carved our initials deep in the bark
Me and Alice
Now she walks to the door with her head held high
And just for a moment I caught her eye
As the big limousine pulled slowly out of Alice's drive

Refrain

Sally called back and asked how I felt
She said, "I know how to help get over Alice"
She said, "Now Alice is gone but I'm still here
And you know I've been waiting twenty four years"
And the big limousine disappeared

I don't why, why she's leaving, or where she's gonna go
I guess she's got her reasons but I just don't wanna know
'Cause for twenty four years I've been living next door to Alice
(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)
Twenty four years, just waiting for a chance
To tell her how I feel and maybe get a second glance
But I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice 
(Alice, who the [bad word] is Alice?)

No, I'll never get used to not living next door to Alice