Take this because you’re going to need it just to fall asleep n this most boring [bad word]  The bearches are frozen and the islands are empty. The only ones left are the captain and crew … of Her Majesty’s Midwestern Islands.

So pull up a chair and get you some action. There’s a man over there who will gamble you down to the clothes off your back. At the end of the week [bad word] collecting and the only way off this boat is to hit the road. Take the stray dog highway to the county poorhouse. Oh, take me home. I want to go home!

(Uh-oh) River is rising! THere’s no time to argue! All hands on deck! Someone left the phonograph on. Surely, it will get wet – and all of my records will be destroyed. I’ll write them a letter, care of