I'm goin' through changes
I'm goin' through changes
[Verse One]
Lately I really, feel like I'm rollin' for delve like Philly
Feel like I'm losin' control of myself, I sincerely
Apologize if all that I sound like, is [bad word] 
But life keeps [bad word]  and
I'm debatin' on leavin' this world, this evenin'
Even my girls can see I'm grievin', I try and hide it
But I can't, why do I act like I'm all high and mighty
When inside I'm dyin', I am finally realizin' I need
Help, can't do it by myself, too weak
Two weeks I've been havin' ups and downs
Goin' through peaks and valleys, dilly dallyin'
Around with the idea, of endin' the sh** right here
I'm hatin' my reflection, I walk around the house tryna fight mirrors
I can't stand what I look like, yeah, I look fat, but what do I care?
I give a f**k, only thing I fear, is Hailie
I'm afraid if I close my eyes I might see her, sh**
[Verse Two]
I lock myself in the bedroom, bathroom, nappin' at noon
Yeah dad's in a bad mood, he's always snappin' at you
Marshall what happened at you, can't stop with these pills
And you've fallen off with your skills, and your own fans are laughin' at you
It [bad word] a problem you're too p**sy to tackle, get up
Be a man, stand, a real man woulda had this sh** handled
Know you just had your heart ripped out and [bad word] They say Proof just flipped out, homie just swift out and bust
Nah, it ain't like Doody to do that
He wouldn't f**kin' shoot at, nobody, he fights first
But dwellin' on it only makes the night worse, now I'm poppin' Vic's
Perks and Methadone pills, yeah Em, tight verse, you killed it
F**kin' [bad word] dealers hang around me like "Yes man"
And they gon' do whatever I says when, I says it
It's in their best interest to protect their investment
And I just lost my f**kin' best friend, so f**k it, I guess then..
[Verse Three]
My friends can't understand this new me
That's understandable man, but just think how bananas you'd be
You'd be an animal too, if you were trapped in this fame
And caged in it like a zoo, and everybody's lookin' at you
What you want me to do
I'm startin' to live like a recluse and the [bad word] is
Fame startin' to give me an excuse, to be at a all time low
I sit alone in my home theatre, watchin' the same [bad word] DVD
Of the first tour, the last tour, he was still alive
And it hurt sore, fast forward, sleepin' pills'll make me feel alright
And if I'm still awake in the middle of the night
I just take a couple more, yeah you're muthaf**kin' right
I ain't slowin' down for no one, I am almost homeward bound
Almost in [bad word]  yeah [bad word] on, dole 'em out
Daddy, don't you die on me, daddy, better hold your ground
F**k, don't I know the sound of that voice, yeah baby hold me down
[Verse Four]
Wake up in the hospital, full of tubes, plus somehow I'm pullin' through
Swear when [bad word] back I'ma be bulletproof
I'ma do it just for Proof, I think I should state a few
Facts, cause I may not get a chance again to say the [bad word] Sh** it just hit me that what if I would notta made it through?
I think about the things I would never got to say to you
I'd never get to make it right, so here's what I came to do
Hailie this one is for you, Whitney and Alaina too
I still love your mother, that'll never change,
Think about her every day, we just could never get it together.
Hey, wish there was a better way, for me to say it,
But I swear on everything, I'd do anything for her on anyday.
There are just too many things, to explain, when it rains,
Guess it pours, yes it does, wish there wasn't any pain.
But I can't pretend