TAKE YOUR CHRISTMAS LIGHTS DOWN YOU LAZY BUMB
I LOOK ACROSS THE STREET AND I SEE YOUR WREATH
IT REMINDS ME OF MY OLD [bad word] UNKLE PETE

TAKE THE LAMPSHADE OFF YOUR NOT FUNNY
BARF UP SOME TURKEY FROM YOUR [bad word] YUMMY TUMMY
TRY TO PLAY POKER BUT YOU CANT READ THE CARDS
LYIN CHEATIN STEALIN BRAINS WORKING TOO HARD
 [bad word] UNKLE PETE CAN’T STAND ON TWO FEET
HE’S WHISKEY HE’S SHOT GLASS
HE’S FORTY OUNCE HE’S FAMILY THAT’S RIGHT
 [bad word] UNKLE PETE CAN’T FIND THE DOOR
HE IS MUMBLING AND STUMBLING [bad word] UNKLE PETE

CHRISTMAS IN THE PARK GETTING [bad word] AFTER DARK
FOURTH OF JULY IS PAUSE FOR THE CAUSE
HALLOWEEN SPOOKY DAY JACK DANIELS OK
VALENTINES CHOCOLATE NICE AND EARLY TIMES

ST. PATS DAY THAT’S OK
FIRST OF JUNE [bad word] AGAIN NOT HOLIDAY
LOST FINGER LOST LIMB
WASN’T IN THE WAR LET’S DRINK SOME MORE
 [bad word] UNKLE PETE CAN’T STAND ON TWO FEET
HE’S WHISKEY HE’S SHOT GLASS
HE’S FORTY OUNCE HE’S FAMILY THAT’S RIGHT

12 PACK KNOCK IT BACK VICODINE AMBIEN
LAST CALL ALCOHOL HURRY UP DRINK IT ALL
CHECKS BOUNCING BABY CRYING GLASSES EMPTY LIVER DYING
FAST WOMEN CHEAP COLOGNE EMPTY BOTTLE ALL ALONE