I've met someone that makes me feel seasick 
Oh what a skill to have 
Oh what a skill to have 
So many skills that make her distinctive 
But they're not mine to have 
No not mine 
Whenever she looks i read the nearest paper 
No i don't care about the soaps 
No i don't care about the soaps 
Though i'm acting like i'm in an Eastenders episode 
If this is a [bad word] 
Kill the director 
If this is a [bad word] 
Kill the director please 
Carrots help us see much better in the dark 
Don't talk to girls; they'll break your heart 
And this is my head and this is my spout 
They work together; they can't figure anything out 
So with the angst of a teenage band 
Here's another song about a gender i'll never understand 
Here's another song about a gender i'll never understand 
If this is a [bad word] 
Kill the director 
If this is a [bad word] 
Kill the director 
If this is a [bad word] 
Kill the director please 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget Bridget 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget Bridget 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget Bridget 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget Bridget 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget Bridget 
This is no Bridget Jones 
This is no Bridget 
Bridget Jones