Mom made my 
She knitted it with her hands [bad word] making is a family tradition
Going back to the caveman days
They were walking around in a haze
Until they figured it out
And they said 'gosh dang, this is great!'
But now I'm like a prehistoric screwball
Walking round with no  at all

I said
Where's my ?
I thought it was here
Under the bench
But it isn't there
I've got no idea where it disappeared to [bad word] late, I can't be late
I can't go out without my 
It's cold outside and my toes get wet
And people will think that I'm an alien
Just [bad word] in to make a friend

Meg likes to hide it
She said that it gives her a kick
It may be under [bad word] Or stuck in a shoe closet
Or tumbling round in the washing machine
She's always trying to get me clean
She adds detergent and bounce to eliminate static cling
It's gonna be another hour or more
Till I am ready to walk out the door

I said
Where's my ?
I thought it was here
Under the bench
But it isn't there
I've got no idea where it disappeared to [bad word] late, I can't be late
I can't go out without my 
It's cold outside and my toes get wet
And people will think that I'm an alien
Just [bad word] in to make a friend
 [bad word] on be my friend)
People can you hear me talking
I know you all are happy, rocking
Could you lend me a dime, pretty please?
Brother, sister, got time?
I've got no  on my feet [bad word] in my drawer [bad word] in my shoes
Or  on the floor

I said
Where's my ?
I thought it was here
Under the bench
But it isn't there
I've got no idea where it disappeared to [bad word] late, I can't be late
I can't go out without my 
It's cold outside and my toes get wet
And people will think that I'm an alien
Just [bad word] in to make a friend