Garden party held today
Invites call the debs to play
Social climbers polish ladders
Wayward sons again have fathers
Hello, Dad, hello, dad

Edgy eggs and queuing [bad word] wakened from their slumbers
Time [bad word] again for slaughter
O on the lawns by still Cam waters
slaughter, it's a slaughter

Champagne corks are firing at the sun again
Swooping swallows chased by violins again
Straafed by Strauss they sulk in [bad word] eaves again
Oh God not again

Aperitifs consumed en masse
Display their owners on the grass
Couples loiter in the cloisters
social leeches quoting Chaucer

Doctor's son a parson's daughter
W where why not and should they oughta
Please don't lie upon the grass
Unless [bad word] by a fellow
May I be so bold as to perhaps suggest Othello

Punting on the Cam is jolly fun they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please [bad word] they [bad word] is the tops, a game for men they say

I'm punting, I'm beagling, I'm wining, reclining, [bad word]  I'm [bad word] So [bad word]  it's a party

Angie chalks another blue
Mother smiles she did it too
Chitters chat and gossips lash
Posers pose, pressmen flash

Smiles polluted with false charm, locking on to Royal arms
Society columns now ensured, returns to mingle with the crowds
Oh what a crowd

Punting on the Cam, oh please [bad word] they say
Beagling on the downs, oh please [bad word] they say
Garden party held today they say
Oh please [bad word]  oh please [bad word]  they say.