It's not found in throwing roses on a grave 
Or in the cursed bottom of a bottled plague 
It wasn't in the torment that will never fade 
But I see the [bad word] now 

This was my [bad word] living without You here 
Even Heaven is [bad word] if somehow You were not there 
If You were not there 

It wasn't in the flames that won't stop burning 
Or within a fire that is never quenched 
It wasn't in the brokenness of all my failings 
But I see the [bad word] now 

Lord, I need to breathe You 
Drink You, dream You 
Nothing ever [bad word] 
Need to breathe You, drink You 
Dream You, need You