Black cats creep across my path
Until Im almost mad
I must have roused the devils wrath
'cause all my luck is bad

I make a date for golf – and you can bet your life it rains.
I try to give a party - but the guy [bad word] 
I guess I'll go [bad word] life just catching colds and missing trains;
Everything happens to me.

I never miss a thing - I've had measles and the mumps.
And every time I play my ace my partner always [bad word] 
I guess I'm just a fool who never looks before he jumps;
Everything happens to me.

At first my heart thought you could break this jinx for me.
That love would turn the trick to end despair.
But now, I just can't fool this head that thinks for me.
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.

I telegraphed and phoned, sent an Air Mail Special, too;
You answer was goodbye - there was even postage due.
I fell in love just once, and then it had to be with you,
Everything happens to me.

I've never drawn a sweepstake, or a bank night at a show.
I thought perhaps this time I'd won, but Lady Luck said no.
And though it breaks my heart, I'm not surprised to see you go,
Everything happens to me,
Everything happens to me.