I am into showbiz, I am a road manager

D'ya know a y chick? I got a pass for her

Touring can be boring, but not for me

You got to entertain yourself, I got a special hobby:

I [bad word] with the support band, I remember when

We had a [bad word] little group, called "Freak Kitchen"

I'm always in the mode for, let's say, any kind of dope

I asked the [bad word] if he wanted some, but he said "nope"

Well I couldn't believe what I just heard

The [bad word] of this group was this astonishing nerd

The singer and guitarist and the bass player as well

If I only had the guts I'd tell Г©m: go to [bad word] 

Instead I turned around and asked a guy from the crew

To go and get a girl that we all can [bad word] 
You see, I an [bad word] and a real hypocrite

And my wife and kids don't know hippo [bad word] 
I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you

I rather be a jerk, than do the [bad word] you do

I rather be a jerk, than snort �til I turn blue

I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk

An orgy a day keeps the Mrs away

I'm a road manager in a giant ashtray

And when my conscience knocks on the door

I bury myself in horse as a cure

And a prostitute, then I shoot some more

I rather be a jerk, than being hip like you

I rather be a jerk, than do the [bad word] you do

I rather be a jerk, than snort �til I turn blue

I rather be a jerk, I rather be a jerk