I waited for so long 
Outside myself
You see I was pretenting 
To be someone else
I was longing to see 
Who i wanted to be

And I've been waiting on my own
I've been waiting for too long
Not strong enough to be with you
And I've been making up my world
I've been painting it with gold
Not strong enough to see you

I irrigate illusions 
Then let them grow
How can I pacify myself?
And let go
And [bad word] wild to see 
Who I turned out to be

........

But it was too cold
In my world